I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki

Nor do I feel like I want to know.

having a variety of voices at the table guarantee the best variety of ideas?

‘Young’ is a word that still seems to follow me around and trip me up when I least suspect it.

On those days, I read.
<…>
books are different. I often look for books that are like medicine, that fit my situation and my thoughts,
<…>
Books never tire of me. And in time they present a solution, quietly waiting until I am fully healed. That’s one of the nicest things about books.

To me, solitude is my one-bedroom apartment, underneath the blanket that fits me perfectly, beneath the sky I find myself staring at while out on a walk, a feeling of alienation that comes over me in the middle of a party.

Can all the solitude I’ve drawn from these places become something special? This is the task and privilege of all artists.

It’s difficult to say whether sense or sensibility is the superior of the two, but they definitely have different textures. And the texture I enjoy more of the two is definitely one of love and sensibility.

The only way for me to become a better person is to go my way little by little, as tedious as that can be.

But nothing comes from scolding myself

Whenever my self-consciousness hits overflow, or I feel weighed down by anxiety, sadness, irritation or fear, I think to myself: I have to turn my gaze.
I think I’ve realised that this constant internal fighting is never going to make me feel better about myself. And how exhausting it is to have the whole world’s intentions bearing down on my shoulders!
So I turn my gaze.