The Wedding Crasher

Suddenly Natalia leans forward and howls. Seriously. As though she’s lost the rest of her pack and calling out to them is the only way to guarantee a reunion. “Oh God, oh God, oh God. Jesus Cristo! Shiiiiiiiiiiit.”The bad news is that she’s in pain.The good news is that she forgot to hit the dial on the device.“Natalia,” Solange says, her voice cutting through the panting and grunting in the car. “Sweetie, you forgot to hit the dial.”Where’s a fucking spare sock when you need one?“Oh!” Natalia says, looking as if activating the device has given her a new lease on life. “Here you go, Dean.”“Jesus. Fucking. Christ. What. The. Fuck?”

Solange gestures at the bags and containers. “What’s all this anyway?”“Food, obviously,” her mother says. “We’re going to need something to eat while we wait.”“Nothing too heavy,” Lina’s mom says. “Sandwiches. A little salad. Some fruit.”Solange groans. “This isn’t a cookout, for God’s sake.”“Shhh,” I tell her, gently smacking the top of her hand. “If they want to share their gifts with us, who are you to complain?”Her mouth falls open, but her eyes are sparkling with amusement. “Did you just hit me?”“It was a love tap, that’s all.” I cringe on the inside when the L word slips out. “I meant a friend tap, of course.”“Thanks for the clarification,” she says, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she gives me an eye roll in excruciatingly slow motion.

Max rises from his seat and puts an arm around his girlfriend, effectively halting her progress. “Let’s go get some coffee. That’ll take your mind off this until we hear something.” He gestures at the group. “Anyone else want a cup?”“Definitely,” Solange says.“Me too,” I add, settling my paper plate on my lap. “Cream and sugar for me. Black, no sugar, and superhot for Solange.” When I look up, everyone’s staring at me. “What?”“That’s very specific,” Max says, giving me a shit-eating grin. “So noted.”