•If you are experiencing strange symptoms that no one seems to be able to explain, they could be arising from a traumatic reaction to a past event that you may not even remember.
•If at any time the material or exercises seem disturbing, stop and let things settle. Sit with your experience and see what unfolds.
•Traumatic symptoms are not caused by the "triggering" event itself. They stem from the frozen residue of energy that has not been resolved and discharged; this residue remains trapped in the nervous system
•when emotional neglect goes unrecognized for so long, its symptoms look like personality rather than trauma. The person seems introverted, unenthusiastic, emotionally flat, physically unwell
•Emotional neglect symptoms don't go away on their own Because people who experienced the neglect, have internalized the neglect. They neglect their own emotions now. They dismiss their own feelings. They have become, for themselves, the parent who was never there.
•The rageful child is still in relationship with their pain. The disappearing child has lost contact with it entirely
•Jealousy is a sense that you have something worth having or wanting, a belief that you deserved or could have had what they have. Jealousy requires a self that believes its needs and wants are legitimate, that it deserves good things. They are still in relationship with fairness. The absence of jealousy might look like maturity. Adults often praise the child who never seems jealous as somehow more evolved or better adjusted. But if desire was consistently met with dismissal, punishment, or indifference — if wanting things produced pain often enough — the child may have shut down the wanting itself as a protective measure. Such child doesn't experience that gap between others as unfair. They experience it as appropriate: of course others have what they don't. Others are more likeable, more worthy, more deserving. The absence of jealousy is not peace. It is the internalization of their own unworthiness so complete that deprivation feels normal. The child who was never jealous tends to become an adult who: Has difficulty identifying what they want at all; Makes life choices based on what seems reasonable or expected rather than what they actually desire; May appear selfless or low-maintenance while actually being profoundly disconnected from their own needs; Struggles most with the question — what do you feel — because the answer is genuinely inaccessible
•The child who feels jealousy is still, somewhere inside, reaching toward life.
The child who never feels jealousy may have stopped reaching. And the work — slow, careful, patient work — is helping them remember that they were always allowed to
•The energy behind a need to strike out is none other than the energy contained after a traumatic event
• if the instinctive urge to discharge intense survival energy is thwarted, then the function of the other two brain systems is profoundly altered
•attachment requires the limbic system to operate in a state of safety, and traumatized people's limbic system, those who use anger as an outlet, had never been allowed to register safety as a real condition
•many people choose dysfunctional dynamics because familiarity is processed as safety by the nervous system
•emotional feelings are essential for the experience of remembering
•some people may be attached to their trauma. It may be the only identity they had. Anger, isolation, habits may be not just symptoms but the architecture of the entire self. Without them they are nobody
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Krysty-Krysty16 ноября 2016
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