Posłaniec

In the first hour of play, I look at Audrey and know that I’m in nervous love with her. Nervous because I don’t know what to do sometimes. I don’t know what to say. What can I tell her when I feel the hunger rise in me? How would she react? I think she’s frustrated with me because I could have gone to university and now I just drive a cab. I’ve read Ulysses, for God’s sake, and half the works of Shakespeare. But I’m still hopeless, useless, and practically pointless. I can see she could never really see herself with me. Yet she’s still done it with others who are pretty much the same. Sometimes I can’t bring myself to think about it. Thinking about what they’ve done and how it feels and how she likes me too much to consider me.
Even though I know.
It isn’t just sex I’d want from her.
I’d want to feel myself mold with her, just for a moment, if that’s all I’m allowed.
She smiles at me when she wins a round, and I smile back.
Want me, I beg, but nothing comes.