Brave

I think it`s bizarre and tragic how society pushes us to say we are what we are because of the job we do. The question "What do you do?" realy means what do they pay you for, as if that`s your defining characteristic. Everything else is a "hobby." But those are also things you are and do. Just because you don`t make money at it doesn`t mean you`re not doing it. It`s as valid as going to the office, maybe more so.

Don`t you dare teach us girls to be pliant; teach your boys not to rape.

People think that you can get over being assaulted. The thing with trauma and rape and sexual assault is that it freezes in your mind as if it happened yesterday. It`s very, very hard to get rid of, because a large part of you, the you that was whole, had been murdered. <...> Sexual assault takes away our ability to be who we were and steals who we were meant to be.

Anybody who`s a sexual assault victim will tell you: the trauma does strange things to your sense of time, your memory. There are details you remember with uncanny accuracy — the shape of the tiles, the yellow quality of the light, the obscene bulbousness of a nose out of all proportion to the rest of a face — and then there are gaps in the timeline when there`s nothing, nothing. Every second extends for a hellish eternity, but it all happens in a flash. And your life is never the same.

The truth of it is, the shame was not mine, and for all victims in similar situations, it is not ours. The shame is reserved for every creep who has ever touched us inappropriately. The shame is on the abuser, not the victim, not the survivor. It is tragic that so many of us have to survive this kind of crap, and I`m so sorry if it has happened to you.

The experience of being homeless and hungry casts a long, long shadow. I`m not sure you can entirely imagine what that`s like unless you have been hungry, really hungry, at some point. Can`t-sleep-because-your-stomach-is-eating-itself-for-the-third-day-straight hunger. My fear of landing back on the streets was like a blackness looming behind me. I was terrified of living like that again.

The worst part was remembering what a magical being he had been when I was little. The monster in his place was the worst kind of betrayal.

Being hungry grinds you down. Being cold grinds you down. Shoving down terror and being brave all the time takes a lot of energy.

The time I spent in rehab was both etertaining and monotonous. They taught us about drugs for about four hours a day: what the street names were, what the street value was, where you could get it, what its effects were. Everything you ever wanted to know about drugs but were afraid to ask, straight from the authorities. What the fuck? Did they want repeat customers?

Our neighbors had no interest in being intrigued or expanded by an alternative lifestyle or viewpoint. They didn`t want to know what else might exist out there in the world. They just wanted to kill it because it was different.

Do not bend yourself to make others feel taller.

An unfortunate necessity in this environment was being able to immediately pick up on danger. I excelled at it. One of my survival skills was, upon entering a room, to locate a weapon. I would do an immediate scan of the area to see what I could use to cause someone else the most damage and defend myself against an attack.

Быть храбрым не значит, что тебе не страшно, это значит, что ты делаешь то, что страшно несмотря ни на что.

Мы можем быть лучше, думая по-другому. Что бы тебя ни отличало, это делает тебя удивительной. Другие будут пытаться усреднить тебя ради собственного комфорта, потому что не дай бог дискомфорт. К черту это. Не сгибайся, чтобы другие чувствовали себя выше. Когда кто-то приходит и вешает на тебя ярлык, просто спроси их: «Почему? Почему ты так говоришь?» Заставь их думать.

Делай все, что хочешь и столько, сколько можешь. Делай, что хочешь, потому что это твоя жизнь. Живи жизнью приключений, крошечных и больших. Делай странные вещи. Нет причин, по которым ты должна жить в ритме других. Если ты хочешь бодрствовать ночью и спать в течение дня, найди способ поддерживать такой стиль жизни и делай. Это твое время, это все, что у тебя есть, насколько мы можем знать, так зачем тратить его на то, чтобы другие были счастливы, если это не делает счастливой тебя?