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capitalistka1 июня 2014 г.
CUSTOMER: If I had a bookstore, I’d make the mystery section really hard to find.
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capitalistka1 июня 2014 г.
CUSTOMER: Do you have copies of Fifty Shades of Grey?
BOOKSELLER: Yes, they’re right over here. We don’t have any secondhand ones in right now, though.
CUSTOMER: Oh, that’s OK. I don’t think I’d WANT a secondhand copy of that book, if you know what I mean!
(Customer and bookseller look at each other and burst out laughing)
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capitalistka1 июня 2014 г.
CUSTOMER: I’m looking for a book but I don’t know much about it so this could be hard.
BOOKSELLER: OK.
MAN: The title is The Immortal Life of Something Something Something . . .
BOOKSELLER (and the two other booksellers at the desk, in unison): Henrietta Lacks.
MAN (smiling): Great, thanks. So, what is a hard question?
BOOKSELLER: A hard question is ‘Do you have this book I saw six months ago? It’s blue.’ And it turns out the book they want is actually yellow, and we haven’t had a copy in the store for the past three years.
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capitalistka1 июня 2014 г.
CUSTOMER: I’ve got a list of books for my son’s GCSE English class. Can you check if you have them?
BOOKSELLER: Sure, what are they?
CUSTOMER (reading from the list): The first one is Jane Eyre Laid Bare.
BOOKSELLER: Erm, I’m pretty sure that he just needs Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë.
CUSTOMER: No. That’s not the title written down here. This one’s written by Charlotte Brontë and someone else. I suppose it must be some sort of literary criticism?
BOOKSELLER: . . . Erm, well, Jane Eyre Laid Bare is erotica – a retelling of the novel.
CUSTOMER: Oh. That can’t be right. Wait a minute, and I’ll call him. (Customer phones her son)
CUSTOMER: Hi David . . . yes . . . I’m just getting your course books and this woman here is telling me that Jane Eyre Laid Bare is some sort of erotic novel. That’s not right, is it? Do you know what she’s talking about? (Pause)
CUSTOMER (hissing angrily down the phone): What do you mean you thought you’d just read that one instead?
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capitalistka1 июня 2014 г.
YOUNG GIRL (pointing to a cupboard under one of the bookshelves): Can you get to Narnia through there?
BOOKSELLER: Unfortunately, I don’t think you can.
YOUNG GIRL: Oh. Our wardrobe at home doesn’t work for getting to Narnia, either.
BOOKSELLER: No?
YOUNG GIRL: No. Dad says it’s because Mum bought it at IKEA.
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ad_nott17 мая 2014 г.
CUSTOMER: I'd like to return this Where's Wally? book, please.
BOOKSELLER: Why?
CUSTOMER: Because I've found him.
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capitalistka1 июня 2014 г.
CUSTOMER: Do you have any foreign language dictionaries?
BOOKSELLER: Yeah, we do. I’ll take you to our language section.
CUSTOMER: Oh, awesome! I need a Latin dictionary for my Spanish class.
BOOKSELLER: . . . Are you sure you don’t need a Spanish dictionary?
CUSTOMER: No, Latin. They don’t speak Spanish in Latin America.
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capitalistka1 июня 2014 г.
BOOKSELLER: Would you like a bag?
CUSTOMER: No, I’d like a divorce.
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capitalistka1 июня 2014 г.
CUSTOMER: Do you have a book that interprets life?
BOOKSELLER: I’m not sure I know what you mean.
CUSTOMER: Well, I was out hiking the other day, and I saw a wolf. I want to know what that meant.
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capitalistka1 июня 2014 г.
CUSTOMER: I want to get my girlfriend a book for her birthday but I don’t know if she already has it.
BOOKSELLER: OK.
CUSTOMER: Could you find out for me?
BOOKSELLER: ... How?
CUSTOMER: Well, maybe you could call her and say that you’re doing a survey or something?
BOOKSELLER: ...
CUSTOMER: You know, just lie and gain her trust and find out everything you can.
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