The Illuminatus! Trilogy

"Satanists are creeps. They skin dogs alive and shit like that."

"Because most Satanists are Christians," said Joe. "Which is a very masochistic religion."

The commissar quoted an old Russian proverb which means, roughly, that when the polar bear excrement interferes with the fan belts, the machinery overheats.

He genuinely loved children and dogs, unless they were on the site of something that had to be bombed in the National Interest.