I love myself, I hate myself. It adds up to zero.

In hindsight it would seem as if all she ever did in life was lay foundations for future towers of shame and self-hatred.

Louis didn't know himself which way he wanted things, whether it was better to have a sad and twisted girlfriend who needed him so much that he could say whatever he wanted to her, or to be involved with a real woman who could attract other men and fill him with anxiety and forget him.