The Long Earth

‘Sister Serendipity is a world expert on cookery through the ages. In particular she has a book by somebody called Dorothy Hartley, called Food in England. Serendipity knows all that stuff; she can make a good meal out of anything. You should see her roadkill hot pot, always a favourite. She taught me a lot about living off the land.’
‘It is remarkable for a woman with such skills to devote her time to unfortunate young people. Such dedication.’
Joshua nodded. ‘Well, yes. And maybe also because she is wanted by the FBI, which is why she doesn’t go out much and sleeps in the basement. Sister Agnes said that it was all a big misunderstanding, and in any case the bullet missed the senator by a mile. They don’t talk about it much.’

‘Oh, and do you have a thing about cats?’
‘They make me sneeze.’
‘Shi-mi won’t.’
‘Shi-mi?’
‘Another first for transEarth. You’ve seen the size of this gondola; it is lousy with hard-to-get-to spaces, and vermin may be a problem for us. It wouldn’t be hard for them to scramble up our anchor cables when we land. The last thing we want is a rat nibbling on a wire. So, meet Shi-mi. Come, kitty kitty…’
A cat walked on to the deck. It was supple, silent, almost convincing. But there was an LED spark in each green eye.
‘I can tell you that she—’
‘She, Lobsang?’
‘She can, on demand, make a pleasant purring noise designed to be optimally soothing to the human ear. She can track mice via infra red, and has excellent hearing. She will stun her prey with a low current, swallow it into a designated stomach with a small food and water dispenser, and then will carefully transfer the catch to a small holding vivarium, where the mouse can live happily until it can be relocated somewhere safe.’
‘That’s going to a lot of trouble for a mouse.’
‘That is the Buddhist way. This prototype is clean and hygienic, will not harm her prey and, in general, will do most of the things you would expect of a domestic cat, except for shitting in your stereo headphones – a common complaint I’m told. Oh, in the default setting she will sleep on your bed.’