Going Postal (play)

Always remember that the crowd which applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.

‘One must always consider the psychology of the individual,’ said Vetinari, correcting the spelling on an official report. ‘That is what I do all the time and lamentably, Drumknott, you do not always do. That is why he has walked off with your pencil.’

People were strange like that. Steal five dollars and you were a petty thief. Steal thousands of dollars and you were either a government or a hero.

There is a saying ‘You can’t fool an honest man’ which is much quoted by people who make a profitable living by fooling honest men.

Always push your luck, because no one else would push it for you.

Укради пять долларов - и тебя назовут мелким воришкой. Но если ты украл тысячи, то тут уж одно из двух - ты или правительство, или герой

Любой невежественный дурак может безуспешно пытаться превратить человека в лягушку. А чтобы зная, как это просто, тем не менее, воздержаться - вот для этого надо быть мудрецом.

However, Moist entertained a wonderful warm feeling inside to think that they would, for some time, possess that greatest of all treasures, which is Hope.

The world was blessedly free of honest men, and wonderfully full of people who believed they could tell the difference between an honest man and a crook.

You never know until you try.

‘I will sue the University! I will sue the University!’ screamed Greenyham. He picked up a chair and hurled it at the omniscope. Halfway to the glass it turned into a small flock of doves, which panicked and soared up to the roof.

‘Oh, please sue the University!’ Ridcully bellowed. ‘We’ve got a pond full of people who tried to sue the University—’

I wonder if it’s like this for mountain climbers, he thought. You climb bigger and bigger mountains and you know that one day one of them is going to be just that bit too steep. But you go on doing it, because it’s so-o good when you breathe the air up there. And you know you’ll die falling.

People flock in, nevertheless, in search of answers to those questions only librarians are considered to be able to answer, such as ‘Is this the laundry?’ ‘How do you spell surreptitious?’ and, on a regular basis: ‘Do you have a book I remember reading once? It had a red cover and it turned out they were twins.’

I commend my soul to any god who can find it.

Ground level, that was the goal: a floor you could rely on.

- Мойст фон Липвиг? - написало оно.

• Э... да?
• Ты Почтмейстер!
• Послушайте, я вовсе не тот Избранный, который Вам нужен!
• Мойст фон Липвиг, сейчас не до избирательности, любой сойдёт!

В душной темноте капюшона, присущее Мойсту чувство опасности не просто завопило, оно поспешно заперло дверь и спряталось в подвале.

An ancient animal sense also told Moist that other people were standing behind the comfortable chair, and that it could be extremely uncomfortable should he make any sudden movements.

What you had to do in this life was get past the pineapple, Moist told himself. It was big and sharp and knobbly, but there might be peaches underneath. It was a myth to live by and so, right now, totally useless.

Some tasks needed a good honest hammer. Others needed a twisty corkscrew.