Choices

I was always going to love you no matter what. Even if we never met, never sat in that compartment together, never got sorted into the same house or the same dorm. Even if I never knew you existed you would still be the person I loved and I would spend my whole life wondering where you were. I don’t love you because you’re here. I don’t just love you by accident. I love you because I was always going to love you. In this life and the next life and the one after that. The universe could have placed us on different planets and it would still be you .

You know I always thought I was Achilles in this story - the over controlling mother, the famed heritage, the great expectations. But here I am, James, wearing your armour, rushing off into battles I have no business fighting. Playing the hero, and failing, like the secondary character I am. But that’s where the metaphor ends, okay? Fuck fate, fuck prophecies, let someone else handle it. Let someone else save the day. You just… go away somewhere, okay? Go live your beautiful life. Fade into obscurity, leave the heroics to people who have less to offer the world. Don’t go to Troy!

I would do it all again, you know. I would relive every miserable moment of my miserable life just for the chance to be yours. You were… the best part of me. Of being here. Of… being. Just the best part. I never knew what it meant to be happy before I met you. Never knew what it meant to be full. And I’m so sorry that I wasn’t stronger. That I hurt you. That I hurt. Thank you for loving me. I know that you probably shouldn’t have, but I don’t regret it. I can’t regret it. So just thank you. Thank you for all of it