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Leaning against him, I tried to be as quiet as I possibly could and asked, “Jack?”

His hand gave mine a squeeze, which was his version of I’m listening, I supposed. My heart rate picking up, I whispered, “That just happened, right? You want to…you want us to date? As in be boyfriend and girlfriend?”

He gave me a long look. “More like husband and wife, don’t you think?”

I wanted her to keep me forever.

“So you have to work from your office today, huh?”

Did she want me to stay? If she asked, I would.

“So then you are staying?”

I leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss on the edge of her lips as she closed her eyes. “Always,” I said, my voice raw. “Even when the time comes that you don’t want me anywhere near you.”

She smiled a little. “I like having you around, so I doubt that will happen.”

I wished that were true.

I pulled on the cover he was lying on top of, and as soon as he moved to the side and it was clear, I threw it over him, leaning over and making sure he was covered.

“What’s going on here?”

“Just so you won’t be cold,” I muttered, securing him to my side. It was more like Just so you can’t leave.

Her eyes were partly closed, her lips curved up. “By the way, I can’t believe the word Christmassy came out of your mouth.”

“It only came out of my mouth because I was repeating your words.”

“Sure, you keep telling yourself that.”

So…do you want to wait for a table to open, or do you want to eat with me in the kitchen?”

“What do you want to do?”

The smile that had been missing ever since Joshua Landon had walked in came back out for me again. “Kitchen. I like having you all to myself.”

It was one of the best things I had heard in all my life, if not the absolute best.

“It was a good day. I really enjoyed cooking with you.”

“You didn’t cook, Rose. You sat on the counter and stole my carrots and roasted potatoes.”

“But you fed them to me yourself.”

“You stole more than what I gave you.”

“I shared my roasted chestnuts with you.”

I nodded and my eyes fell to her lips. “You did.”

“So do you want to make it a regular thing?”

“You mean where I cook for you and you steal from my preparations?”

She grinned and nodded enthusiastically.

“Sure. Why not.”

“I want you,” she said, her voice so small I could feel something breaking inside me. “I want you more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life.”

“That’s a lot of want. Mrs. Hawthorne.” I cupped her cheeks with my palms and closed my eyes. “I’ve been craving you for so long I don’t know what to do with myself anymore.”

“My brain is tingling,” she murmured, clearly half out of it.

I was moving my fingers in her in small, light movements but stopped at her words.

“Rose we sh— ”

She covered my hand with hers before I could think or gather the strength to pull out. “If you stop, I’ll kill you in your sleep, Jack Hawthorne. Don’t you dare.”

“Rose, if you feel—”

“I’m being serious, Jack. I’ll murder you. Please make me come on your fingers. Please. Please.”

“You’re a vicious little thing, aren’t you? And all mine.”

“I’m going to count the days till you can take me, Jack.”

My countdown had already started.

“No touching, Rose. I’m serious. Do not drive me crazy in public.”

Hearing that I had any kind of power over him was exhilarating. Happy and excited, I laughed and raised my hands. “No touching—got it. Come on, I won’t bite. I promise.”

And what do you know…as soon as he settled next to me, he reached for my hand and tightly clasped it in his, playing with my ring the entire time. He was the one who couldn’t stop touching me, and I loved every second of it.

It was the most perfect first date I’d ever had in my life.

My husband was perfect. With all his arrogance and prickliness, Jack Hawthorne was perfect for me.

He wasn’t what I’d had in mind or even what I’d wanted for myself, but he was perfect and already mine, truly mine. There was no doubt of that in my mind.

There was one thing I was sure of: I would never forget Jack Hawthorne and his touch in this lifetime.

God, the strength of him holding me—it was just as powerful as his thrusts. I loosened my hold on his wrist and splayed my hand on top of his, silently telling him I wanted more pressure.

“I’ll bruise you,” he whispered.

“I want you to,” I whispered back, turning my head and pressing my forehead against his hot throat.

“Why?”

“I want everything from you, Jack, everything and more. I want you to leave a mark on me.”

“You’re the only woman I want to go to sleep holding on to and wake up next to, Rose Hawthorne. I will never leave you. I will never forget you.”

I deserved far worse, and she deserved far better.

I wanted to be her air, her heart. I wanted everything I didn’t deserve to have.

But was that the best thing for her?

Was I the best thing?

Unfortunately, I knew I wasn’t, but that didn’t change the fact that I would try to be.