Больше диковинных диалогов в книжных магазинах

Джен Кэмбл

Цитаты

capitalistka1 июня 2014 г.
(Elderly female customer is looking at the chart) CUSTOMER: I can’t believe everybody’s reading this Fifty Shades ...
BOOKSELLER: I know. I take it it isn’t your cup of tea, then?
CUSTOMER: Oh, no dear; been there, done that – no need to read about it!
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capitalistka1 июня 2014 г.
CUSTOMER: Guess what.
BOOKSELLER: What?
CUSTOMER: I’m building a spaceship in my back garden to scare my neighbours.
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capitalistka1 июня 2014 г.
CUSTOMER: I’m looking for that book ... Romeo and Juliet. It’s about a fight between the DiCaprios and another gang. Street stuff.
CUSTOMER’S FRIEND: Yeah. it’s the true story of Leonardo DiCaprio.
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capitalistka1 июня 2014 г.
CUSTOMER: Urgh. Shakespeare. He’s everywhere, isn’t he? You can’t escape him. I wish he’d do us all a favour and just die already.
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capitalistka1 июня 2014 г.
CUSTOMER (whilst paying for a book): I have always wanted to marry a bookseller. (Pause)
CUSTOMER: Do you fantasise about marrying one of your customers?
BOOKSELLER: ...
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capitalistka1 июня 2014 г.
CUSTOMER: I had such a crush on Captain Hook when I was younger. Do you think this means I have unresolved issues?
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capitalistka1 июня 2014 г.
CUSTOMER: I’d like a book for a friend about saving the world from alien invasion. I’d like the main character to be a little like Freddie Mercury and a little like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Does anything spring to mind?
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capitalistka1 июня 2014 г.
CUSTOMER: Do you make wanted posters for books?
BOOKSELLER: . . . How do you mean?
CUSTOMER: I mean, can I bring you a list of books that I’m looking for, and then you could make them into wanted posters and put them up around the bookshop, in case other customers know where I could find them?
BOOKSELLER: Erm, I have a ‘Wants’ book that I can put your list of books in, and then I can let you know if we get those books in stock? Or I can try and track the books down for you myself, by calling other antiquarian booksellers?
CUSTOMER: No, that’s OK. I like to pretend that the books are criminals, and that I’m tracking them down, like I’m the police. It’s more fun that way.
BOOKSELLER: . . . OK.
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capitalistka1 июня 2014 г.
CUSTOMER: I’m looking for the book Mini Alcoholic by Sophie Kinsella.
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robot29 июня 2018 г.
CUSTOMER (buying Thirteen Ways to Dispose of a Dead Body, whispers
seriously): There are actually fourteen, you know.
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