Рецензия на книгу

• 

  kurisutaina

  3 сентября 2019

  Music is the language of memory.

  Данную книгу никак нельзя назвать легким чтивом.
  

  
  “I guess you can’t blame them for wishing that, one day, we’ll wake up and realize how wrong we’ve been.”
  “Can’t I?”
  “No,” I say, “because that’s exactly what we wish about them.”

  Ни по каким-либо общепринятым параметрам - для этого в ней поднимаются слишком серьезные темы, будь то достаточно обыденная тема развода, или напротив, незаурядные, вроде бесплодия, многочисленных выкидышей, нетрадиционных отношений и материнства в таких отношениях, а также их религиозных и правовых аспектов.
  

  
  But to get married, we had to cross the Rhode Island border. We had to find a minister who was supportive of gay marriage. Eventually, we would have to hire a lawyer to draw up papers to give each other power of attorney for medical decisions, to become beneficiaries on each other’s life insurance policies. I wasn’t ashamed of wanting a lifetime with Vanessa. But I was ashamed that the steps I had to take in order to do it made me feel like a second-class citizen.

  Ни по моим личным, внутренним убеждениям - слишком уж история бьет по нервам, хотя к материнству, например, я отношусь достаточно индифферентно.

  Общая сюжетная линия вполне подробно раскрыта в аннотации, поэтому не вижу большого смысла об этом писать, расскажу немного о главных героях и моих впечатлениях о них.
  Центральных персонажей в истории трое, именно от их лиц попеременно и идет повествование:
  Зои - музыкальный терапевт сорока лет
  

  
  When I tell people I am a music therapist, they think it means I play guitar for people who are in the hospital—that I’m a performer. Actually, I’m more like a physical therapist, except instead of using treadmills and grab bars as tools, I use music. When I tell people that, they usually dismiss my job as some New Age BS.
  In fact, it’s very scientific. In brain scans, music lights up the medial prefrontal cortex and triggers a memory that starts playing in your mind. All of a sudden you can see a place, a person, an incident. The strongest responses to music—the ones that elicit vivid memories—cause the greatest activity on brain scans. It’s for this reason that stroke patients can access lyrics before they remember language, why Alzheimer’s patients can still remember songs from their youth.

  Жизнь которой, казалось бы, окончательно дала трещину после 9 лет брака и очередного выкидыша, который и поставил жирную точку на этом браке. Ибо муж Зои, Макс - второй главный герой - просто устал и решил, что с него хватит.
  

  
  “That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” I say, as soon as we are alone again. “To have a baby.”
  “What if it’s not what I want?”
  “It’s what you used to want.”
  “Well, you used to want a relationship with me,” Max says, “so I guess we’ve both changed a little.”
  “What are you talking about? I still want a relationship with you.”
  “You want a relationship with my sperm. This . . . this baby thing . . . it’s gotten so much bigger than the two of us. It’s not even us, in it together anymore. It’s you, and it’s the baby we can’t seem to have, and the harder it gets the more air it sucks out of the room, Zoe. There’s no space left for me.”
  “You’re jealous? You’re jealous of a baby that doesn’t even exist?”
  “I’m not jealous. I’m lonely. I want my wife back. I want the girl who used to want to spend time with me, reading the obituaries out loud and driving for forty miles just to see what town we’d wind up in. I want you to call my cell to talk to me, instead of to remind me that I have to be at the clinic at four. And now—now you want to get pregnant again, even if it kills you? When do you stop, Zoe?”
  “It’s not going to kill me,” I insist.
  “Then it just might kill me.” He looks up. “It’s been nine years. I can’t do this anymore.”
  There is something in his gaze, some bitter pill of truth, that sends a shiver down my spine. “Then we’ll find a surrogate. Or we’ll adopt—”
  “Zoe,” Max says, “I mean, I can’t do this. I can’t do us.”

  И если честно, в какой-то степени я его понимаю. Ситуация в которой они с Зои оказались - очень тяжелая чисто психологически. И после всех событий, свидетелями которых мы станем, он много поймет и осознает.
  

  
  In the months since my baptism, I have come to believe that God has a reason for everything. It makes sense when the bad guys get their due, then, but it’s harder to understand why a savior who loves us would make awful things happen to good people. I’ve prayed long and hard about this stuff, trying to figure it all out, and it seems to me that most of the time, if God gives us something bad, it’s supposed to be a wake-up call—a way to let us know not so subtly that we’re messing up our lives. Maybe it’s because we’re with the wrong girl, or because we’ve grown too big in our own heads, or maybe it is just because we’ve gotten so greedy about the here and now we’ve forgotten that what matters the most isn’t self but selflessness. Just think of those folks you meet who have survived an incurable disease—how many of them start thanking Jesus right and left? Well, all I’m saying is: maybe the reason they got sick in the first place was because that illness was the only way He could get their attention.
  I can tell you—although it hurts me to say this—I see now that I am the reason why Zoe and I couldn’t have a baby. That was Jesus, hitting me in the head with a two-by-four over and over until I understood that I wasn’t worthy enough to be a father until I welcomed the Son.

  Третьим главным героем становится Ванесса, работающая школьным консультантом и которая пригласила поработать Зои с одним из учеников, незадолго до основных событий, описываемых в книге.
  Ванесса, как она сама признается - человек, который постоянно что-то чинит, налаживает, спасает. Будь то, сломанная мебель, бездомная собака или человек, сердце которого разбито на мелкие кусочки и который не знает, как ему дальше жить.
  

  
  I am the person who buys the broken piece of furniture, sure I can repair it. I used to have a rescued greyhound. I am a pathological fixer, which accounts for my career as a school counselor, since God knows it’s not about the money or job satisfaction. So it’s not really a surprise to me that my immediate instinct, with Zoe Baxter, is to put her back together again.
  “Death coordinator,” I say, shaking my head. “And I thought my job sucked.”

  Именно она становится для Зои человеком, который сможет снова сделать ее цельной, возродить к жизни. Станет больше, чем подругой - ее половинкой, любимой.
  За их отношениями было достаточно интересно наблюдать, они описаны здесь достаточно подробно, и это помогло лучше прочувствовать героев.
  

  
  It’s funny—when I used to hear gay people using the term partner for their significant other, it seemed strange to me. Weren’t heterosexual spouses partners, too? But now I see that this isn’t the case, that there is a difference between someone you call your “other half” at a cocktail party and someone who truly completes you. Vanessa and I have to invent the dynamic between us, because it’s not the traditional husband-wife deal. The result is that we’re constantly making decisions together. We’re always asking each other for opinions. We assume nothing. And that way, we’re a lot less likely to get our feelings bruised.

  Кстати про подробности, этот фактор в книге стал для меня как плюсом так и минусом - с одной стороны эти подробности помогли понять героев и их переживания, а с другой иногда их было чересчур много, и некоторые были очень личными, интимными, и как следствие - некоторые куски текста мне было даже как-то неловко читать или они казались лишними.

  Из второстепенных героев выделю:
  Дару - маму Зои, которая стала одним из моих любимых персонажей
  

  
  People in a small town—and Rhode Island functions as one, honey—they remember things. Not accurately, either.

  Очень мудрая женщина))
  

  
  You know, not everyone is out to attack you. Just because you’re a new member of a minority group doesn’t mean you have to assume the worst about everyone else.

  И отличная мать, которая всячески поддерживает свою дочь
  

  
  You’re not helpless. You need help. There’s a big difference.

  Еще очень понравилась Анжела Моретти - адвокат Зои, у которой на столе в офисе, стоит стеклянный сосуд с мужским половым органом в формальдегиде XD Юморная дамочка)
  

  
  “You know what you call a nun who’s passed her bar exam?” Angela says, idly scanning the legal complaint that I faxed to the office after my initial phone call. “A sister-in-law.”

  Ее мнение об адвокате Макса Уэйде Прэстоне - лаконичное и полностью соответствующее действительности
  

  
  You know the difference between Wade Preston and a vulture? Frequent flier miles. He’s a homophobic nutbag who travels around the country trying to get states to amend their constitutions so that gay couples can’t marry. He’s this millennium’s Anita Bryant and Jesse Helms all rolled up into one and stuffed in an Armani suit. But he also plays hard and tough, and it’s going to get ugly. He’s going to drag in the media and put the courthouse in an uproar because he’ll want to get the public on his side. He’s going to make you the poster children for unmarried heathens who aren’t fit to raise a baby.

  Ее шутки это что-то с чем-то))
  

  
  “You know what you call a lawyer with an IQ of fifty, right? Your Honor.”

  Очень приятный во всех отношениях персонаж)
  

  
  “You want to know if I’m a lesbian.”
  Zoe blushes. “Well. Yeah. But you don’t have to answer.”
  “I’m straight as a two-by-four. My husband and I have three rugrats and a house full of constant chaos.”
  “But you . . .” Zoe hesitates. “You work here?”
  “I eat kung pao chicken like it’s going out of style, but I’m pretty sure I don’t have an Asian cell in my body. I love Toni Morrison novels and Tyler Perry movies although I’m not black.” Angela smiles. “I’m straight, Zoe, and I’m happily married. The reason I work here is because I think you deserve that, too.”

  Также мне понравился эпизодический герой - Джоэл - друг Ванессы и свадебный распорядитель их с Зои свадьбы) Его реакция на ситуацию, когда свадьба Зои и Ванессы оказывается под угрозой, просто шикарна! XD
  

  
  The pipes burst at the restaurant where we were planning to hold our reception. I watch Vanessa try to calm down her friend Joel—a wedding planner who took on our nuptials as his gift to us. “They’ve got three inches of standing water,” Joel wails, sinking his head into his hands. “I think I’m hyperventilating.”
  “I’m sure there’s somewhere that can hold a party on short notice,” Vanessa says.
  “Yeah. And maybe Ronald McDonald will even agree to officiate.” Joel looks up sharply at Vanessa. “I have a reputation, you know. I will not, I repeat, not have French fries as an hors d’oeuvre.”
  “Maybe we should reschedule,” Vanessa says.
  “Or,” I suggest, “we could just go to a justice of the peace and be done with it.”
  “Honey,” Joel says. “You are not wasting that gorgeous peau de soie dress on a city hall wham-bam-stamp-you-ma’am wedding.”
  Vanessa ignores him and walks toward me. “Go on.”
  “Well,” I say. “The party’s the least important thing, isn’t it?”
  Behind me, Joel gasps. “I did not hear that,” he says.
  “I don’t want everyone to drive up here and risk their lives,” I say. “We’ve got Joel as a witness, and I’m sure we can drag in someone else off the street.”
  Vanessa looks at me. “But don’t you want your mother here?”
  “Sure I do. But more than that, I just want to get married. We’ve got the license. We’ve got each other. The rest, it’s just gravy.”
  “Do me a favor,” Joel begs. “Call your guests and leave it up to them.”
  “Should we tell them to bring their bathing suits for the reception?” Vanessa asks.
  “Leave that part up to me,” he says. “If David Tutera can fix a wedding catastrophe, so can I.”
  “Who the hell is David Tutera?” Vanessa asks.
  He rolls his eyes. “Sometimes you are such a dyke.” He takes her cell phone off the table and presses it into her hand. “Start calling, sister.”

  Ну и он реально милый))
  

  
  “You know I tried to get you a gay magician for the reception, but it didn’t work out,” Joel says. “He vanished with a poof.” He waits for me to get the punch line and then grins. “Works every time with a nervous bride.”

  Еще конечно стоит упомянуть старшего брата Макса - Рейда и и его жену Лидди, которые во всех отношениях сыграли не последнюю роль во всей этой истории.
  Очень неоднозначные герои, особенно после прочтения последней главы XD Мне даже стало немного жаль Рейда)
  Ну и конечно, пастор Клайв Линкольн тоже не последний персонаж в этой истории. Чертов манипулятор и лицемер! Один из самых нелюбимых героев, наравне с Уэйдом Прэстоном.

  Финал у истории, конечно, слезопускательный, и да, - чересчур идеалистический (и будем откровенны, далёк от реальности), но черт возьми, в жизни и так минимум хэппи-эндов, дайте хоть в художественной литературе за людей порадоваться!))
  

  
  You can’t lose if you’re the one who walks away from the game before it’s over.

  P.S. Музыка в книге - это практически отдельный персонаж. С ней неразрывно связана жизнь гг: начиная от ее воспоминаний из детства, ее карьеры и помощи клиентам, находящимся в разных жизненных ситуациях, и заканчивая тем, что музыка стала ее собственным спасением.
  

  
  Some cognitive scientists believe human response to music provides evidence that we are more than just flesh and blood—that we also have souls. Their thinking is as follows:
  All reactions to external stimuli can be traced back to an evolutionary rationale. You pull your hand away from fire to avoid physical harm. You get butterflies before an important speech because the adrenaline running through your veins has caused a physiological fight-or-flight response. But there is no evolutionary context within which people’s response to music makes sense—the tapping of a foot, the urge to sing along or get up and dance, there’s just no survival benefit to these activities. For this reason, some believe that our response to music is proof that there’s more to us than just biological and physiological mechanics—that the only way to be moved by the spirit, so to speak, is to have one in the first place.

  Вообще, концепция с музыкальной терапией достаточно интересна, думаю стоит ознакомиться с этим психотерапевтическим методом более подробно.
  

  
  Every life has a soundtrack. All you have to do is listen.

  22 понравилось

  0

  1K