Одиночка

I can’t explain that yes, he stops me hating myself so much, but no, that isn’t why I want to be his friend more than I’ve ever wanted anything.

“one person can change everything,” he says. “and you have changed everything for me.”

just because someone smiles doesn’t mean that they’re happy.

i think about my brother charlie spring and nick nelson. sometimes paradise isn’t what people think it should be

but he loves, and i guess that is all that matters in the world of literature

- you know, if you want to be happier, you have to try. you have to put in the effort. your problem is that you don’t try.
i do try. i have tried. i have tried for sixteen years

all friendships are selfish. maybe if we were all selfless, we would leave each other alone

how am i supposed to decide on a university course? most of the time at school i can’t even decide which pen to use.

no, michael is not my boyfriend. he cries at beauty and the beast. he taught me how to make chocolate cake. he stalked me when i went to a restaurant and pretended to forget why

i tell him about charlie.
everything.
about when he started collecting things, and about when he stopped eating, and about when he started hurting himself.
to be honest, it’s not even that big of a deal anymore. he’s been to the hospital. he’s better now. and he’s got nick. i mean, he’s still recovering, but he’s fine. it’s fine

“you love all these words, don’t you? gay, bisexual, attractive, unattractive—”
“no,” i interrupt. “no, I hate them.”
“then why label people?”
i tilt my head. “because that’s life. without organization, we descend into chaos.”

“jesus, mate, you are a stalker!” lauren attempts a laugh, but no one else joins in.
“no,” michael says. “i just pay attention.”

i find one song that i really love, and then i listen to it about twenty billion times until i hate it and have ruined it for myself.

in the end, though, being beautiful doesn’t do much for you as a person apart from raise your ego and give you an increased sense of vanity.

i can’t really remember when nick and charlie became nick-and-charlie, but nick is the only one who visited charlie when he was ill, so in my books, he’s definitely all right.

if i’m not at school, you can guarantee that my laptop will be somewhere within a two-meter radius of my heart. my laptop is my soul mate

sometimes i like to fill my days with little things that other people don’t care about. it makes me feel like i’m doing something important, mainly because no one else is doing it

sometimes i think people only pretend to like each other

my name is victoria spring. i think you should know that i make up a lot of stuff in my head and then get sad about it. i like to sleep and i like to blog. i am going to die someday