How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.” And yet we humans don’t do this well. All around us are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us do better, posing questions that are essential for...

Рейтинг LiveLib

2,7

5 оценок

5
0%
4
20%
3
40%
2
40%
1
0%

Ваша оценка

Прочитали 5Хотят прочитать 18

Рецензии

icarrotty
28 мая 2025
3/10
Книга соткана из простых истин, поданных под красивым соусом. Если вы знакомы с НЛП или читали Маршалл Розенберг - Язык жизни. Ненасильственное общение , то тут вы не найдёте ровным счётом ничего нового.

When another person is talking, you want to be listening so actively that you're practically burning calories.

A good conversation sparks you to have thoughts you never had before. A good conversation starts in one place and ends up in another.

The universe is a drab, silent, colorless place. I mean this quite literally. There is no such thing as color and sound in the universe; it's just a bunch of waves and particles. But because we have creative minds, we perceive sound and music, tastes and smells, color and beauty, awe and wonder.

Each person actively constructs their own perception of reality. That's not to say there is not an objective reality out there. It's to say that we have only subjective access to it.

Like any artist, each person takes the experiences of a lifetime and integrates them into a complex representation of the world. That representation, the subjective consciousness that makes you you, integrates your memories, attitudes, beliefs, convictions, traumas, loves, fears, desires, and goals into your own distinct way of seeing. That representation helps you interpret all the ambiguous data your senses pick up, helps you predict what's going to happen, helps you discern what really matters in a situation, helps you decide how to feel about any situation, helps shape what you want, who you love, what you admire, who you are, and what you should be doing at any given moment. Your mind creates a world, with beauty and ugliness, excitement, tedium, friends, and enemies, and you live within that construction. People don't see the world with their eyes; they see it with their entire life.

Or, as the writer Anaïs nin put it, "We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are".

Aldous Huxley captures the core reality: "Experience is not what happens to you, it's what you do with what happens to you".

Seeing someone well is a powerfully creative act. No one can fully appreciate their own beauty and strength unless those things are mirrored back to them in the mind of another. There is something is being seen that brings forth a growth. If you beam the light of your attention on me, I blossom. If you see great potential in me, I will probably come to see great potential in myself.
Читать далее
14 понравилось
0
116