The Moviegoer

Have you noticed that only in time of illness or disaster or death are people real?

They all think any minute I'm going to commit suicide. What a joke. The truth of course is the exact opposite: suicide is the only thing that keeps me alive. Whenever everything else fails, all I have to do is consider suicide and in two seconds I'm as cheerful as a nitwit. But if I could not kill myself -- ah then, I would. I can do without nembutal or murder mysteries but not without suicide.

Losing hope is not so bad. There's something worse: losing hope and hiding it from yourself.