Цитаты из книги How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love

“ there’s a story in your head that one day you’ll wake up and feel ready. That story is fiction”

“While love may be a natural instinct, dating isn’t. We’re not born knowing how to choose the right partner”

Fundamental-Attribution Error: our tendency to believe someone’s actions reflect who they are rather than the circumstances. When someone makes a mistake, we interpret the misstep as revealing something essential, and essentially bad, about that person’s character. We don’t look for external reasons to explain the behavior.

Peak-end rule: When assessing an experience, people judge it based largely on how they felt at the most intense moment and at the end. Their memory isn’t an average of their minute-by-minute experiences.

By skipping the getting-to-know-you small talk and diving straight into the type of conversation that friends (or lovers!) might have, you take a shortcut to intimacy

Research from psychology professor Gail Matthews shows that publicly committing to a goal makes people more likely to accomplish what they set out to do.

Paradox of choice: We assume that more choice will make us happier, but that’s often not the case. In fact, too many options make us less happy, in part because of choice overload.

“And for those of you who are avoidantly attached, pay attention to your feelings when you sense yourself withdrawing. Learn to ask for space instead of disappearing into space. Or when you sense yourself focusing on your partner’s shortcomings and wanting to leave because of them, try a different technique: Practice looking for the positive qualities instead. Remember that no one is perfect, and if you leave, the next person you meet won’t be perfect, either”

“By waiting to date, Hesitaters miss out on a chance to develop their dating skills and figure out what type of person they want to be with”

“Keeping our ex around makes it harder, not easier, to move on”

“She transformed herself into someone she liked—sophisticated, funny, passionate—but she still didn’t date”

“kissing in the rain is so much colder and more uncomfortable than it seems”

“a majority of married people have either chosen to end their relationship or are enduring it unhappily”

“Great relationships are built, not discovered. A lasting relationship doesn’t just happen. It is the culmination of a series of decisions”