The Devil Makes Three

Eliot Birch is a fuckmonkey.
Eliot Birch’s family tree must be a cactus because everyone on it is a prick.
Eliot Birch’s birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

The dark smudges on her face and bruised on her throat made Tess look even more threatening. She was a forgotten warrior, a lost god, fierce and terrifying.