History Is All You Left Me

I'll be there in two songs.

I'm the compass arrow, trying to find my true north.

It's almost as if we're made of the same messed-up clockwork, ticking and ticking out of balance.

I feel like a rock being skipped through the ocean - pain, relief, pain again, relief again, eventually destined to sink.

The world should stop lying to kids because they're always brutally honest with us.

I`ll never understand how time can make a moment feel as close as yesterday and as far as years.

History is nothing. It can be recycled or thrown away completely. It isn`t this sacred treasure chest I mistook it to be. We were something, but history isn`t enough to keep something alive forever.

This is someone who`s grieving over you, another human with his own human feelings who shouldn`t be used as a weapon against you. But I`m a human too, with my own human feelings. You used our intimate history to create a future with someone else, and that`s a thousand times worse.
You used our love against me. Now I`m using your love against you.

I`m lucky to have parents who know when to go to war with me and when to leave me alone in the battlefield.

"Promise me you guys won`t destroy the squad when you break up."
<...>
"Maybe show some faith in us, dude," Theo says quietly. "But sure, I promise we`ll be adults if we do break up."
"You`re sixteen. You`re not an adult," Wade says.
"I`m counting on us being together for a while," Theo says.

What you don`t understand, Theo, is silence is sometimes better than someone speaking before they`re ready. That is how lies slip out.

The wound never closes and the pain remains, always piercing, always burning, always suffocating, always bleeding.

I spent so much of my time being loyal to you, even we weren`t dating, because I thought we had out endgame plan. Look where that loyalty got me. I`m stuck here trying to figure out my next move. What I`ve now learned is, going forward, I have to be careful whom I trust with my heart. I have to be suspicious that someone will use the love I give and carry it over to someone else.
You did this to me.

If I can fly here for you, where will I go for me?

"I shouldn`t have been there tonight," he says. "I don`t belong."
No, he doesn`t. He`s that blue W-shaped piece of the Celestial Sky puzzle you and I fought over, the one I kept trying to fit into the wrong spot despite your insistence. In the puzzle that is your house, Jackson doesn`t have a space carved out for him.