Dread Nation

Here`s a thing about me: I regret most of my actions five minutes after the fact. I`m rash in my decisions and I spend half my time trying to extricate myself from situations of my own making. But I don`t regret taking charge last night. Without me, we would have died and the town would have been overrun. So whatever the sheriff has planned for me, I have to believe that everyone`s surivival was worth it.

I hope you will understand my giving my heart to another. Someday, if not today, you will see that this life is nothing without people to love.

Momma used to say there were lots of ways to survive. Don`t be afraid to pretend to be something you aren`t, Jane. Sometimes a little subterfuge and chicanery is in order and the quickest way to achieve one`s goal.

"...you do understand that your pretty face is as much a weapon as your rifle, right?"
Katherine wipes her eyes and gives me a strange look, like I just sprouted an extra nose. I lean back a little. "What? What did I say?"
"Jane, I`ve never thought of it that way, that beauty could be a weapon."
I laugh. "That`s because you`ve never met my momma. She used to say the only thing more lethal than a bullet was a woman with a pretty face."

If there`s anyone who knows how to put on an act, it is a woman dependent upon the appetites of men for her living.

It`s a sad thing, but there are few men that can`t be softened by a pretty face.

"Why you helping me anyway? It can`t just be because of your long-lost love."
The small smile she wears is wiped from her face. "Let`s just say that I got some stains on my soul that I wouldn`t mind getting scrubbed clean."
"And you think helping a Negro girl is going to do that?"
"I think being the kindest person I have the wherewithal to be is going to do that."

Sometimes it`s easier to think about other folks` small hurts than your own big ones.

I miss my momma and Auntie Aggie, and Big Sue back in Baltimore. I miss Jackson and his stupid plans and little Ruthie and her nothing-but-fluff braids. I miss Miss Duncan and her make-your-arms-mush cythe drills. I even miss Katherine, which I never thought I`d be saying.
Mostly, I miss being hopeful. There ain`t a lick of hope in Summerland from what I can see, despite the advertising, and the drudgery of it all is enough to make a girl just lay down and die.

"Relax, Miss McKeene. I`m not the one you need to fear."
"Funny how the ones that turn on you always say something like that."