Цитаты из книги Redshirts

“Sorry,” Duvall said. “In ground forces, when someone does you a favor you tell them you owe them a sex act. If it’s a little thing, it’s a handjob. Medium, blowjob. Big favor, you owe them a fuck. Force of habit. It’s just an expression.” “Got it,” Dahl said. “No actual blowjob forthcoming,” Duvall said. “To be clear.”

“‘Hide’ isn’t a word we like to use,” Cassaway said. “‘Perform alternative tasks’ is the preferred term.” “Just not in the storage room,” Mbeke said. “That’s our alternative tasking place.” “I’ll just alternatively task behind my work desk, then, shall I,” Dahl said.

“What’ll that do?” Dahl asked. “It will give Q’eeng an excuse to furrow his brow, stare at the data for a minute and then tell you that you’ve overlooked some basic thing, which he will solve,” Trin said. “At which point you have the option of saying something like ‘Of course!’ or ‘Amazing!’ or, if you really want to kiss his ass, ‘We never would have solved that in a million years, Commander Q’eeng.’ He likes that. He won’t acknowledge that he likes it. But he likes it.”

“Was the captain particularly dramatic?” Cassaway asked. “What is ‘particularly dramatic’ in this context?” Dahl asked. “Like this,” Mbeke said, and then grabbed both of Dahl’s shoulders and shook them. “‘Damn it, man! There is no try! Only do!’”

“Damn it, man!” Abernathy said. “This is Kerensky we’re talking about! If God could make the universe in six days, surely you can make a counter-bacterial in six hours.”

“Is it just me,” Hester said, “or is everyone on this ship monumentally fucked up about away missions?”

“Death by ice shark,” Dahl said. “Death by what?” Duvall said, blinking. “What the hell is an ice shark?” “You got me,” Dahl said. “I had no idea there was such a thing.” “Is it a shark made of ice?” Hanson asked. “Or a shark that lives in ice?”

Ensign Davis thought, Screw this, I want to live, and swerved to avoid the land worms. But then he tripped and one of the land worms ate his face and he died anyway.

You couldn’t have told me this before I fired? Davis wanted to scream. You couldn’t have said, Oh, by the way, don’t fire a pulse gun at a Borgovian Land Worm at our mission briefing? On the ship? At which we discussed landing on Borgovia? Which has fucking land worms?

“Davis!” Captain Abernathy called. “Stay where you are! Any movement across that ground will call to the worms! You’ll be eaten instantly!” Thanks for the useless and obvious update, you jackass, Davis thought, but did not say, because he was an ensign, and Abernathy was the captain. Instead, what he said was, “Aye, Captain.”

I have onle one thing I want from you. That you do something. Stop drifting. Stop trying things until you get bored with them. Stop waiting for that one thing. It is stupid. You are wasting your time