One Man Guy

Alek, my man, at a certain point in your life, you’re gonna learn there’s a difference between what you have to do and what you want to do. And the sooner you start choosing want over have, the happier you’ll be.

“What do you want to do tonight?”
“We could watch TV, I guess,” Ethan said.
“As long as we don’t watch anything with Kim Kardashian. You have no idea how many hours Armenians around the world spend complaining about how she, out of everyone, was chosen to represent us. I actually heard my mother say she missed the good ol’ days when Cher would skimp around in inappropriate outfits.”

“I want you to take me shopping.”
“I think it’s a little early for us to be picking out curtains. We’re not lesbians, after all.”

“Don’t you think your folks will wonder why…”
“… I’m putting up a poster of a famous half-Armenian athlete? ‘I’m just honoring my heritage, Mom and Dad, like all good Armenian boys should.’”
“Look at you, already putting up posters of hot men. If being a gay guy doesn’t work out for you, you can try being a straight teenage girl.”