Цитаты из книги Heilige Kuh

But that’s the thing, you can’t just stay high. What goes up must come down.

And I was wondering if I was the last animal on earth to realize that humans eat us all and not only that, they throw most of us out without even eating us, throw us away like worthless garbage. I mean, if I’m gonna be killed for food, at least eat me and poop me out and let me rejoin the circle of nature. Don’t kill me for no reason at all.

“It’s hard to leave anywhere. Even if the place sucked. It’s hard to leave anywhere at all.”

Don’t hate. Hate is like a poison you make for your enemy that you end up swallowing yourself.

...an animal may kill to live but an animal never lives to kill.

You humans drink our milk and eat the eggs of the chickens and the ducks. Isn't that enough for you? Isn't that enough that we give you our children and what's meant for our children? And if not, when is it enough? All you humans do is take, take, take from the earth and its beautiful creatures, and what do you give back? Nothing.

So I guess it’s not so important that dreams come true, it’s just important that you have a dream to begin with, to get you to take your first steps.

Well, the milk looks tempting, but you people pasteurize it and that takes out all the flavor. And what’s with this low-fat and 2 percent crap? The fat in the milk is what we live for. You humans are funny, constantly thinking about eating and trying to look like you never eat at the same time.

None of the flight attendants gave us any trouble, ’cause everyone acts like an animal on a plane. We didn’t stick out at all. Actually, I think we were the most human-acting folk on this flight. The people were disgusting. You should’ve seen the bathroom.

...what is sauce for the goose is not sauce for the gander

People see what they think they’ll see and unless you do something really stupid, you can be invisible.

If you people think lambs are silent, check yourselves out while you’re praying to the Box God*-passive and drooling.

*Box God - телевизор

That’s another thing: humans are so weird about the sex. It’s like pooping, folks, everybody does it.

If he dropped his phone into a shark’s mouth, he’d go in there to retrieve it. Or a volcano. It’s like the most important thing in the world.

Feelings come and go, unless you don’t feel them. Then they stay, and hurt, and grow pear-shaped and weird.

All animals can speak to one another in a kind of grunt, whistle, bark, and squeal, a kind of universal, beasty Esperanto: lion to lamb, bird to dog, moose to cat-except, really, who would ever want to have a lengthy conversation with a cat? Very narcissistic they are. But we, the animal kingdom, ain’t got no words or what you would call language.