The Dud Avocado

I mean, the question actors most often get asked is how they can bear saying the same things over and over again night after night, but God knows the answer to that is, don’t we all anyway; might as well get paid for it.

I felt as if I’d been wandering through life like one of those comic-strip characters, while right, left and center buckets of paint were falling off ladders, and cars were crashing into each other.

“But I’m so tired. I don’t want to have to wrestle with a horde of strangers. I just want to eat about a hundred million oysters and two tons of caviar and go swimming naked in champagne”