All My Friends are Superheroes

Even the Clock, the only superhero who can travel in time, doesn't think her power is anything special. She's quick to point out that everyone can tavel in time and everybody's constantly doing it: a real superpower would be the ability not to travel in time.

Or you’ll sit down on a bench and suddenly there, right at eye level, will be a poster for a garage sale. It’s happening three doors down from your house next Saturday, so you go and you find that record, the one you used to have when you were a teenager, the one you’ve been looking for for years. You buy it for a dollar and when you listen to it you rediscover a side of yourself that you’d forgotten, a kinder, gentler, more optimistic version of yourself.

He can explain something that’s happened to you in a way that you’ve never thought of it before, a way that offers wisdom and insight, a fresh perspective you would never have thought of on your own – but he can only do it using quotes, characters and situations from Star Wars.

The Workhorse is the first to arrive at the office and the last to leave. He doesn’t look up when you walk past him at the end of the day. Weekends, holidays and birthdays are all spent at work. His loyalty to the corporation is unquestioned and unsurpassed. But he has never received either a raise or a promotion because his bosses figure that anyone working that hard is surely incompetent, lucky just to have a job.

The Perfectionist opens her eyes. She sees nothing. It’s white. All white. There’s no up. There’s no down. No horizon. Nothing. It’s just white.‘Clock, what is this?’ asks the Perfectionist. Her voice is shaky.‘This is the future.’‘This is the future?’ the Perfectionist asks. Her mouth is dry. She forces herself to swallow. ‘Why is the future like this?’‘Because it hasn’t happened yet,’ says the Clock.

The most powerful superhero of all, the one everyone wishes they were, is Mistress Cleanasyougo. At the end of every day she folds her clothes. She never leaves scissors on the table, pens with no ink are thrown in the trash, wet towels are always hung up, dishes are washed directly after dinner and nothing is left unsaid.

The Face submitted a blank canvas and got an A+. Everyone agreed it was the most beautiful self-portrait they’d ever seen and it looked exactly like her.

‘There are two ways to get rid of an anxiety monster, my friend – you either have a bath or a nap.’

While some people were worth millions and other people were deep in debt, they all looked stressed and worried. He concluded that there is only one amount of money – just not enough.

There is only one amount of money - just not enough.