Half-Off Ragnarok

Once upon a time there was a little boy who lived with monsters, and the monsters swore that they would never hurt him, because even monsters dream of living happily ever after.

Underestimate the power of gravity, if you like; underestimate how many bullets you`ll need to take out a chimera. But never, if you value your life, uinderestimate what a parent will do for the sake of preserving a child.

There is a moment, just before the bullet hits, just before the serpent strikes, when you will realize that your life is about to change forever, and not in a good way. That is the moment when you will try to make a bargain with God. That is the moment when you will become an atheist.

Being smart isn`t good enough. You need to be educated, and you need to be open-minded, and you need to remember that what you don`t know can most definitely hurt you.

There are times when I hate being as paranoid as I am. Life with my family makes paranoia a vital survival trait, but that doesn`t mean I enjoy it. It can be a lonely way to live.

"Why didn`t you tell me?"
"Shelby, there is a list of things that can be used as answers to that question. It`s annotated. There`s even an index."

Playing fair is for people who don`t mind playing to lose.

Love doesn`t care what you want. Love doesn`t care if it`s convenient. Love pursues its own agenda, and there`s no bullet in the world that can take it down.

Try your best. That`s always been enough for the people who love you.

Rules only matter if everyone understands them, agrees to them, and can be trusted not to break them. Bearing those irrefutable facts in mind, rules never matter at all.

I`m not Covenant. I don`t think like that. But I`m not going to let the sins of my father keep me from reaching for a gun when someone is trying to kill me.

"It`s different, now that we don`t have to hide anything. But... I don`t know if I would have gotten involved with you if I`d known you were a cryptozoologist."
"Ah, but if you had, I wouldn`t have needed to make nearly as many excuses." I shook my head. "I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again: we need a dating service."
"How would you keep the Covenant from signing up?"
"That is why we`re never going to have a dating service." I laughed. It felt good. So did Shelby. That felt better.

Try to let go of the idea that humanity is the pinnacle of evolution. There are creatures in this world that can kill you with a look, people with wings, and mountains that walk. Humanity is amazing, but have a little perspective.

I have always enjoyed the company of dangerous women. Fortunately for me, many of them seem to enjoy the company of dangerous men.

As dates go, "come join me and my family in dismantling the man who used to live next door" ranked high in memorability, and low in normality.

Shoot first, but aim for the foot, hand, or other non-life-threatening extremity. That way you`ll still be able to ask questions later.

"We`ve come to an agreement," said Grndma. "She doesn`t attempt to kill anyone who lives in this house, I don`t arrange for her sudden disappearance. Largely because you`d be a suspect, and I`d rather not get you taken in for police questioning."

"If I`d known there were two Johrlac present, I would never have brought a gun into your home," Shelby said fervently.
Grandma turned to Shelby, eyeing her sternly. "Oh, no? What would you have done instead?"
"I would have chained the doors shut while you were sleeping and burned the place to the ground." Shelby stole an apologetic glance at me. "It would have been the only way to be sure."