Цитаты из книги Seriously...I'm Kidding

Почему нельзя просто быть волосатыми, носить удобную обувь и расцеловывать себя с головы до ног, когда все складывается как надо? Кажется, я только что описала типичного хиппи. Пожалуй, перееду на север и стану хиппи.

So be who you really are. Embrace who you are. Literally. Hug yourself. Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.

True beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is about who you are as a human being, your principles, your moral compass.

Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Keep doing it even if people are passing you on the street saying, "I can't tell if that person is laughing or crying, but either way they seem crazy, let's walk faster." Emote. It's okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.

Find out who you are and figure out what you believe in. Even if it's different from what your neighbors believe in and different from what your parents believe in. Stay true to yourself. Have your own opinion. Don't worry about what people say about you or think about you. Let the naysayers nay. They will eventually grow tired of naying.

“Way back in the day, like in the 1990s, if you wanted to tell everyone you ate waffles for breakfast, you couldn’t just go on the internet and tweet it out. There was only one way to do it. You had to go outside and scream at the top of your lungs, “I ate waffles for breakfast!” That’s why so many people ended up in institutions. They seemed crazy, but when you think about it, they were just ahead of their time.”

Рискуя, мы узнаём, что иногда добиваемся успеха, а иногда терпим неудачу, но в любом случае получаем ценный опыт

When we were kids, all we wanted was to be older. When we were seven and a half and someone said we were only seven, we were furious. We probably even cried about it. Can you imagine doing that now as an adult? “This is Marsha. She’s forty-two.” “Forty-two and a half! You always forget the half! I’m practically forty-two and three-quarters!”

Car mirrors have warnings that say, “Objects are closer than they appear.” Magnification mirrors should have warnings that say, “Objects are not as attractive as they appear.”

"We're all different people and we're not allowed to be different from one another. If someone ever says you're weird, say thаnk you. And then curtsy. No, don't curtsy. That might be too weird. Bow. And tip your imaginary hat. That'll show them."

We're always worried that weв're going to get rid of something and then it's going to come back in fashion. But even if it does - and I assure you that paisley jumpsuit you've been holding on to won't - they always make a tiny tweak so that it's a little bit different so we have to buy the updated version.

Some people believe that to find happiness, you should live each day of your life as if it's your last because that way you will appreciate every single moment you have. Other people believe that you should live each day as if it's your first because then every day can be the beginning of a new journey. Those are conflicting ideas, and I know it can be confusing. Do you live each day as if it's your first or your last? Either way you should probably have a diaper on.

I don't think someone has to wear something better, or have a better hairstyle. That's why the word 'different' exists in our language. (I don't know why the word 'mustache' exists, though. Can't we just call it lip hair?)

Who else considers a glass of wine a serving of fruit? Me, too!

If you have portraits of yourself up all over your house, people are going to think you're conceited. Replace them with portraits of me.