How I Conquered Your Planet

I cleaned out my locker, at least as much as I was going to clean it – screw ‘em, screw everybody around here – then I said goodbye to my bus company friends. “What’s your name again? Eugene? Goodbye forever, Eugene. I will miss you horribly. The time we had together… hey, come back when I’m talking to you.”

He started chewing me out, reminding me of all the things I had done wrong since I joined the firm. The fiery crashes, the speeding tickets, those missing busses I couldn’t account for. All the usual stuff.

Maybe it was because of the differences in our mental abilities, or maybe it was because I hadn’t taken a shower all year, but I didn’t make many friends on Mars. I tried to hang around with my old brainwashing buddies, but they had new friends now and didn’t have time for me. I understood that. Life moves on. It was nothing to cry about. So after awhile I stopped crying.