Stuff White People Like: A Definitive Guide to the Unique Taste of Millions

White people love to be near a body of water so they can read a book while sitting nearby. The process of reading is somehow heightened through the process of doing it near water. Extreme reading!

The best method for exploiting this tendency is to ask a white person who their favorite football team (...) Once they have finished talking, it is acceptable to ask for favors.

If you are someone who lives in a country that white people like to visit, there are some things you can do for personal gain, the best of which is to make them feel fantastic by saying how you’ve never seen a white person before, and that you are amazed by their iPod—“A device that plays many songs? Impossible!” They might give it to you, then you can sell it for profit. Repeat as necessary.