Цитаты из книги A Cook's Tour

It was like getting hit by a phantom freight train - every cell, every atom of my body went into mad panic. My balls scrambled north, headed somewhere around my collarbone, my brain screamed, my eyeballs did the best they could to pop out of my skull, and every pore, wide open only a few seconds earlier, slammed closed like a plugged steam pipe. It was a punch to the chest from God's fist. I sank to the bottom, bent my knees deeply, and pushed up, breaking the surface with an involuntary high-pitched shriek that must have sounded to residents across the lake like someone had just hooked their cat up to a car battery.

Is there anything better to eat on this planet than a properly made bowl of pho? I don't know. Precious few things can approach it. It's got it all. A bowl of clear hot liquid, loaded with shreds of fresh, white and pink crabmeat, and noodles is handed to me, garnished with bean sprouts and chopped fresh cilantro. A little plate of condiment comes next: a few wedges of lime, some ground black pepper, a dish of nuoc mam, a dish of chili fish oil, some chopped red chili peppers. The pho is fantastic - spicy, hot, complex refined, yet unbelievably simple. The astounding freshness of the ingredients, the brightly contrasting textures and colors, the surprising sophistication of the presentation - the whole experience is overwhelmingly perfect.

Suddenly and without warning, one of the men stepped around and, with the beast's nether regions regrettably all too apparent, plunged his bare hand up to the elbow in the pig's rectum, then removed it, holding a fistful of steaming pig shit - which he flung, unceremoniously, to the ground with a loud splat before repeating the process. [He kept filming] You never know, I guess, what footage you might just be required to have during the editing process, but I had a hard time imagining the 'Pig-fisting' scene on the Food Network.

[Picture a room] with a tile floor with tiles halfway up the wall and a drain in the middle - as if the whole room were designed to be quickly and efficiently hosed down. [...] In spite of the EZ Clean design features, there are suspicious and dismaying stains on the walls. About two thirds of the way up one wall, there are what look like bloody footprints and - what do they call it, arterial spray? How they got there, so high up, I can only guess. The wall opposite has equally sinister stains - evidence f a more opaque substance - these suggesting a downward dispersal. Having seen the bathroom, I can't blame the perpetrator for anything.