The Bad Beginning

Настоящий Санта Клаус это торговый центр.

И тут они заметили, что на ногах у Графа Олафа нет носков! А между обтрепанными отворотами брюк и черными башмаками на бледной коже ясно виднеется изображение глаза – точь-в-точь такое, как на входной двери.

Каким же надо быть человеком, подумала Вайолет, чтобы вырезать изображение глаза у входа в дом?

Дети перевели взгляд с сияющего чистотой дома судьи Штраус на соседний: покрытые копотью и грязью кирпичи, два маленьких окошка, да и те завешены шторами, несмотря на славный день. Над крышей вздымалась потемневшая башня, слегка покосившаяся влево. Входную дверь требовалось покрасить заново. Посредине же двери было вырезано изображение глаза. Все сооружение осело на одну сторону, словно кривой зуб.

But one type of book that practically no one likes to read is a book about the law. Books about the law are notorious for being very long, very dull, and very difficult to read. This is one reason many lawyers make heaps of money.

One of the most troublesome things in life is that what you do or do not want has very little to do with what does or does not happen.

First impressions are often entirely wrong.

You may spend the rest of your life believing that the Baudelaires triumphed over Count Olaf and lived the rest of their lives in the house and library of Justice Strauss, but that is not how the story goes.

There are many, many types of books in the world, which makes good sense, because there are many, many types of people, and everybody wants to read something different. For instance, people who hate stories in which terrible things happen to small children should put this book down immediately.

The word “standoffish” is a wonderful one, but it does not describe Count Olaf’s behavior toward the children. It means “reluctant to associate with others,” and it might describe somebody who, during a party, would stand in a corner and not talk to anyone. It would not describe somebody who provides one bed for three people to sleep in, forces them to do horrible chores, and strikes them across the face. There are many words for people like that, but “standoffish” is not one of them.