Despair isn't very... «The Anthropocene Reviewed»

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  abyssus

  2 сентября 2024

  В друзья

  Despair isn't very productive. That's the problem with it. Like a replicating virus, all despair can make is more of itself. If playing What's Even the Point made me a more committed advocate for justice or environmental protection, I'd be all for it. But the white light of despair instead renders me inert and apathetic. I struggle to do anything. It's hard to sleep, but it's also hard not to.

  I don't want to give in to despair; I don't want to take refuge in the detached ridicule of emotion. I don't want to be cool if cool means being cold to or distant from the reality of experience.

  Depression is exhausting. It gets old so fast, listening to the elaborate prose of your brain tell you that you're an idiot for even trying.When the game is being played, I feel certain it will never end. But that is a lie, like most certainties. Now always feels infinite and never is. I was wrong about life's meaninglessness when I was a teenager, and I'm wrong about it now. The truth is far more complicated than mere hopelessness.

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